Frustration, Body Image and Clothes Not Fitting

Well, I had a break down in my closet last night while getting ready to go out and walk-jog with my 15-year-old daughter. She has been diligent in her fitness efforts and has inspired me to be consistent as well.

I was cursing out my tank tops and myself at the same time because they were all just tight - and not tight in a sexy way, either. I am 30 pounds over my usual weight and that's a whole story in itself of how I gained the weight. But needless to say, I kept looking at how I could see my fat and bulges in places I don't want bulges showing and I slammed the door of my closet and threw as many clothes as I could across the room. My daughter, such a sweetheart, came in and said, "Mom, well at least you're about to do something about it!"

That was all I needed to help me to put the largest shirt on I own and head out the door with her.

I put on a lot of this weight mainly due to a very stressful relationship situation I had went through about a year ago; also too much beer and too many fun shots of Tequila on the weekends; too many late nights and too many times of giving in to fast food meals. And to add to a bad diet, no exercise. No poling, no walking, no nothing.

Like the old saying goes, Rome wasn't built in a day; and also, if it took a year to get like this, it may take as long to reverse.

In the meantime, I am being consistent with my baby-step workouts and also making one small change at a time to my diet. For instance, I've started eating a bowl of hot oatmeal every morning with whey protein powder mixed in, a multi-vitamin and a fresh piece of fruit. The vitamin seems to keep my energy up.

Now I've started switching out sugary drinks for water or herbal tea with honey and also using myfitnesspal app to track my eating and exercise. I have also been learning lots from Sharee, author of the blog funeralformyfat. She went through a 4-year transformation of losing over 100+ pounds and becoming vegan. Her journey is amazing.

My next step is to weigh myself again. Although I know the scale doesn't tell you everything about the state of your body and health, it is a piece of the puzzle and it is a measuring stick I use at times.

And I'm working in my pole training 2-4 times a week at this point, again, the sessions are getting longer and longer, more intense and I am able to do more now than I did a month ago :-)