Summertime and I'm Feeling Fat.

Trying Brass Monkey!

It's summertime in Central California...and it's hot. The swamp coolers in my house make for a perfectly sticky pole but my lungs don't seem to be able to suck in enough oxygen in this damp, heavy air. I am in the middle of packing up my home to move and dismantling my beloved pole room...and I feel fat. And listless. And unmotivated to do anything exercise related. My shoulders carry something heavy, unidentifiable, probably the stress of moving, so they don't want to carry my body weight upside down as well.

But I feel better after reading the BadKitty blog post "How Curves Help with Pole". It resonated with me. Some say I'm slender, but I know all the extra weight I carry from years of stress and a bad diet. I feel the boniness of my knees when I'm trying to do floorwork then look down and see the softness of my belly spilling over my shorts. I see fat in places I never had it before. I get upset with myself because I don't always consistently eat clean; I'd rather have enchiladas and Cheetos sometimes because they comfort me and I'm an emotional eater that hasn't quite faced her problem.

But when I look in the mirror and look myself in the eye, I see a strong woman. A fierce female that can deal with a little extra on her frame and still feel confident. My massage therapist was working on my back and said, "Girl, you have killer shoulders! You're so built!" We pole dancers forget what sets us apart from the average female that goes to the gym or walks for her exercise. We have muscles. Muscles in places we wouldn't have had muscle if we hadn't taken up pole.

Once in pole class a tall, beautiful, big-framed woman told me "I'm about as graceful as a bull with all this weight" or something like that. To which I told her, "The heavier I am, the stronger I get hauling it up on the pole!"

And for that I can feel strong, sexy and who the hell cares if my belly hangs over a little. The extra fat on my thighs and middle help me grip that pole good! I am at my strongest I have ever been in my life right now.

And I'm proud.

P.S. Thank you to every poler who carries extra weight on her frame and still pushes herself, conquers new tricks, and shares her pole achievements on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or on a blog...you inspire me and so many others!